Wendy, Author at Willow In The Wood

About Wendy

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Wendy has contributed 48 entries to our website, so far.

You Don’t Have To Be Alone To Feel Lonely

Jul 9, 2018

Lonely & Sad

There was a time when my family was still young. Even though I was married with two children, I remember a time that was the loneliest time of my life. My husband may have lived in the same house, but we couldn’t have been farther away from each other. I never believed him to be anything but a kind man. Unfortunately, neither of us had the skills to reach across the divide of lost respect and passion that had created the gulf that now kept us apart.

I could site the wrongs, harsh words & miss-steps that I felt fed my insecurities, self-doubt, & loneliness. But, I’ve lived in those dark places and don’t ever wish to visit that place again. Our union was crushed under that darkness.

A Second Chance

I’ve had years to review the past. I’ve left all but the lessons I learned behind as I create a future of my choosing filled with joy and light. The man who’s ring I now wear, graces my soul with his calm acceptance of my creative spirit. He gives me things I never knew I needed like colorful love notes and more importantly supporting my efforts and ideas. He celebrates me! And because of this, I celebrate us.

I don’t write this to boast my good fortune. I want to share the simple fact that although in a healthy relationship, we get what we give, in an unhealthy one we can be left wanting…needing and wondering if we are worthy of the things we are missing.

You Are Worthy!

I put up a wall to protect myself. It didn’t get built in one day. It was over the years that each stone was placed. At some point, I realized that the very wall I had created to protect me had stopped allowing any possibility of connecting. If there was any chance to reconnect I had to let it down. I came out to ‘fix’ whatever was causing problems. Only I couldn’t fix it. One person can’t fix a relationship. It takes two. And I found some people don’t know how to ‘relate’ to others in a healthy way. They don’t teach this skill in school and certainly many parents aren’t good examples. Sadly, some are the worst examples.

Because of my circumstances, I devoted myself to finding the answers I wish I had when I was so lonely & first building that wall. In my Confidence & Self-Esteem program, I’ve created an entire workshop focusing just on relationships. They are of great importance to how we feel about ourselves and the world around us.

The ABSOLUTE BEST advice I can give, is to celebrate you, learn to value your unique gifts and accomplishments, set healthy boundaries, develop healthy relationships with healthy people, remember joy comes FROM you and not to you, & to know you ARE worthy of your dreams.

With Passion – W

Does Being Old REALLY = Being Tired All The Time?

Jul 6, 2018

Mom used to say “I’m Sick & Tired Of Being Sick & Tired”

I think many of us assume that having less energy than we used to is just a normal part of aging. Or, we’ve felt this way for so long, we accept it as normal. Here’s news: It’s not normal and it’s a vicious cycle. If you’re tired you do less which effects your health and energy levels and you become even MORE tired and have LESS energy.

Our metabolisms do slow down. But, you don’t have to be tired ALL THE TIME. You have a choice to continue on this downward spiral or do something about it so you can do the things that make life worth living.

The good news is we can usually change things once we make the decision to do so. I’ll bet you even know what to do. Eat healthier, get more exercise, and develop healthy sleep patterns.

Simply said:

• Eat REAL food; fresh and not packaged. Avoid the 20 Worst Foods To Eat.
• Get up and get moving. Here’s a link for 5 Easy Home Exercises for Older Adults.
• Drink water – Your body needs it to function. Do you want to function?
• Get some GOOD sleep by developing a routine before bedtime. (It works for kids & it will work for you!)

Now that you know WHAT to do, it’s important to understand HOW to get started.

#1: Make sure there isn’t an underlying reason for your low energy.

It could be any number of reasons. I suggest you have regular check-ups and make an appointment with your doctor if you feel somethings not right. And PLEASE make sure you are heard, treated respectfully, and efficiently by your medical provider. You must be your own health advocate. Doctors miss things, forget things, and unless you are diligent, there is a big chance you won’t get the care you need. Are you supposed to have regular blood tests? Put a reminder on YOUR calendar and call to request them when it’s time. There’s some good information here on women and fatigue. https://www.bodylogicmd.com/for-women/fatigue

#2: Have a plan. Face it, if you don’t plan it, it’s not going to happen.

Our plans will be as individual as our lives are. Look at the 3 points above and decide what your absolute favorite things are in the first two categories. If you hate kale, you won’t eat it. If you hate working out, you won’t do it. Do what you love. Do you love summer berries, smoothies, fresh crunchy salads? Eat more of those or whatever healthy options you love. Do you like to dance or window shop? Do that instead of lifting weights. (FYI: I take no responsibility for your shopping sprees) You get the point. You are much more likely to keep up with something you love than something you grudgingly do. And when you do indulge, put your snack in a cute small bowl instead of putting the whole bag in your lap. We often eat unconsciously and devour massive quantities before we even realize it.
Next, plan your perfect night’s sleep. Stop drinking fluids after 7pm. Those late-night bathroom trips interrupt your zzz’s. Don’t watch action shows before bedtime. You’ll be fighting battles and escaping bad guys in your dreams instead of resting peacefully. And for goodness sake stay away from social media. You don’t need to get sucked into the drama of family or friends or fall into watching just one more video.

Probably the most important thing you can do is design your bedtime routine. (I’m yawning thinking about mine) What makes you sleepy? Is it a warm bath, slow easy stretches, washing your face, & brushing your teeth? When you get in bed to you read, play solitaire card games on your phone? I will suggest one thing: after you turn out the light and lay down, do some slow deep breathing. Even three deep slow breaths can signal your body it’s time for sleep.

#3: Develop the right mindset.

You think that magically you’re going to put down the chips and get off the sofa to grab an apple or go for a walk? (I just laughed out loud here, and it犀利士
wasn’t funny) The answer is no, nope, & not a chance. You need a vision & you may need some help.

A vision of your WHY is important for ANY goal or dream you may have. Our WHY will keep us going when it isn’t really run to do so.
Why do you want to have more energy? Visualize yourself doing fun things you will be able to do or how great you’ll feel and look. Visualization is POWERFUL.

Many do better when they have an accountability partner or someone to go through this process with. Do you have a friend who you can set a date to get up and moving or take turns making a healthy dinner and sharing it weekly? Perhaps you’re ready to start living your life on your terms in all areas, not just health and it seems overwhelming. If that’s the case, I’d be very happy to talk with you about options for personal life coaching. Send me a message if you would like to do that.

And FINALLY, remember YOU and nobody else is responsible for your health and happiness. This is YOUR LIFE. Discover your own path and make it right for you.

Lessons from the Forest – Weeds!

Jun 23, 2018

Weeds

They’re always popping up, flowering then spreading their seeds everywhere. What a pain!

Unless…

They are wildflowers, growing despite the efforts of those who want to make them disappear, not being watered, or fertilized. They miraculously bloom in bright or soft colors and plant their own seeds spreading beauty.

You see, it is a matter of perspective.

How you view everything depends on how you look at it. Are you looking at situations and people with the thought that they are weeds? What lens are you using to look through? Is it faded, dirty, cracked, or clouded with old patterns of unhealthy thinking?

Perhaps, you have been feeling like a weed; unwanted, unmanicured, or uncared for.

If so, it’s time to dust off that lens or find a new one by adopting a new attitude. If you do, you may discover, you are really a wild flower who just didn’t realize how beautiful you truly are.

Repair – Reuse – RENEW!

Jun 2, 2018

Yes, I am that person who will glue the tabs of a puzzle back down. Those of us who had parents who lived through the great depression or hard times learned this lesson young. If something broke, we would repair it. If we wanted something nice, we figured out how to take something old and give it a fresh look before buying something new. I can only remember a couple times when mom bought me a Halloween costume. Otherwise I had to dig through the musty box kept in the rafters of the garage and pull something together from there to reuse or renew something by creating something from what I had available.

Today it seems we live in a throwaway society. If something is broken, throw it away and get a new one. If something is out of date, donate it to charity and get a new one. And the one that breaks my heart and I’ve seen over and over: if a dog misbehaves, take it to the pound and get a new one.

My dog, Duke, was taken back to the pound 3 times. And he is a GREAT dog! He had some behaviors that needed attention. That’s all. Anyone who knows him can see what a loving and well-behaved guy he is. And God help us, this happens to people too.

What about when we feel like our life is SO FAR out of control that we can’t imagine pulling it together? This, like many things is something we can make new without throwing the old out. Each day our bodies sluff off skin to make way for the new healthy skin underneath. What a miracle of creation we are! Each day, we are given another opportunity to repair unhealthy behaviors and bring into our lives habits and attitudes that will absolutely make our lives better. We are given another opportunity to build and nurture relationships. We can reach out and expand our world with new knowledge and skills. Each day we are given the opportunity to make different choices.

You don’t have to start from scratch and it doesn’t have to be dramatic. Do what you can with what you have where you are. One woman, I admire greatly, decided she was going to cut out sugar from her life. This is a goal far bigger than I thought possible. Yet she did it; one food item at a time. And she did it slowly so that it wouldn’t throw her body into withdrawals. There are videos and countless stories of people who came back from tragedies we can imagine. They did it one step, one choice at a time. They are an inspiration and show us that what may feel like is impossible IS possible.

Today and every day you have a choice. Is this the life you want? What are you going to do about it? Don’t throw yourself away. You can be just about anything you can dream of one choice at a time.