Wendy, Author at Willow In The Wood

About Wendy

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Wendy has contributed 48 entries to our website, so far.

But I Don’t Want To!

Sep 26, 2018

There’s always tasks and chores we don’t want to do. When we’re faced with them, we conveniently find all kinds of other things to do that are less crummy. Crummy as they are, they have to be done.

Business Advice

Business advisors tell us to concentrate on what we do best and what we enjoy doing the most and delegate the other things to people who like doing what we don’t. For example there are people out there who are really great organizers. I was that person for the department I was the Sr. Admin for before I quit and became a wood sprite. 😉 Because of this, the Sr. VP and all the other VP’s could do what they do best.

In my business I’ve learned so many protocols and how to use programs I’ve never heard of before. But when I found myself hitting my head against a wall to accomplish something for days that would take someone else an hour or two, it was time to find help. I now have ‘my guy’ I call when I’m stuck. What’s interesting is he is in another country. I found him through a company ca犀利士
lled UpWork. It’s pretty cool. Even you can sign up to be the someone people call for whatever specialty you have.

Other Options

But what if we don’t have the resources to hire someone else? I highly suggest bartering. I’ve traded my coaching services for things I either didn’t have time for, the skills to do, or things I just didn’t want to do.

Yet, there are times when that isn’t appropriate or available. At those times we just have to suck it up and do the thing. And that, my friends, is what I am doing this morning. I suggest you do it FIRST thing otherwise you’ll get distracted with all those things to do that are less crummy. Don’t let that happen. Do that thing. Find something about doing the thing that is positive like how you will feel to have it done and other positive outcomes to accomplishing the task. If nothing else, It will be off your to-do list and it won’t be hanging over your anymore. And don’t forget to reward yourself for your hard work. This is vital to keeping up your energy to have the life you want. Just make sure it is a healthy reward. 😉

What is the THING you’ve been avoiding?

Make New Friends

Sep 18, 2018

When I moved to a new city I missed my friends. The only person I knew here besides my kids was the lady who sold me my house. I’m a friendly person & I really wanted to make new friends in my new town. I’ve been here for about 2 1/5 years. And now, I have lots of wonderful new friends again. What did I do?

I went to where the people were who were doing things I like to do

I wanted friends to do things with. It makes sense to look for friends who like to do the same kinds of things that I do.

Years ago I enjoyed teaching belly dance classes. One of the reasons I taught was to meet ladies who liked dancing like me. So in my new town, I introduced myself to the dance teachers in the area and even took some classes of theirs to brush up on my skills before applying to teach here too.

I hadn’t bowled in years but heard there was a senior bowling league in town; The Silver Fox league, no less. 😉 Since we rotate and play against different teams each week, it gave me an opportunity to meet a bunch of locals. It’s been fun and I added several friends. Some have become very close friends and I even won a small trophy (for bowling not making friends). 😀

I Talk To Everyone

It’s embarrassing to my sister, but she’s starting to get used to it, I think. There’s a checker at my store that I really like. I try and go in her lane because she’s good to talk with. One day, out of the blue, I invited her over for dinner. Why not? She couldn’t make it that night. I’m hopeful they’ll be another time.

My husband met a nice woman through his business. He got us together and we really hit it off. She invited me to join a small private woman’s group. There are about 8 of us now. We meet monthly for personal growth and a healthy pot-luck. It’s a warm circle of friends and it feels awesome to know them and spend time with them. Familiarity is what allows friendships to get stronger. Spending time with others over and over will also increase the chance of making friends. It takes a while for some to make friends.

I did something odd, even for me. I responded to a personal Craigslist ad. If you do this stay in the Platonic area. And even this isn’t a guarantee of motives. However, there was a woman looking for someone to play musical duets with. She played the flute. I play the flute. I’m glad I contacted her. After a few back and forth emails we decided the other was who they said they were. We play weekly for about 2 years now. She’s become a dear friend.

But Keep the Old

Just because I moved, I don’t want to let my old friendships die. I call to keep our bonds strong. After all, it takes effort to keep ALL relationships healthy. I also had a bit of an adventure when I went south to the area I used to live and couch surfed my girlfriends. It was exhausting but it was a blast. How much effort is putting a stamp on a card and mailing it? I know the joy it generates is great.

Be Persistent

I’m usually the one who is inviting someone else to come along with me somewhere. But that’s ok because I get to go places I want to go, when I want, with who I want.

I tried about 8 churches before I found my new church home. Although I call several friends, they are all now family. Last Sunday, a friend and I went to lunch and a street fair after service. I stayed overnight for 3 nights when one of the ladies needed care after a medical procedure. We have a strong bond now. When my husband and I were sick, other’s brought us soup. A good church is a huge blessing.

For more ideas, you can follow this LINK to find 31 ways to attract new people.

A good friend is a blessing. And who can’t use blessings? Just remember to be open to the possibility of friendship when you meet people. Be kind and talk to them. You never know who might be your next BFF.

Fight Like A Girl

Sep 11, 2018

Fight Like A Girl?

We’re told to be a good girl, to be kind & gentle, keep quiet, get along with others and to not cause trouble. And these are admirable traits.

What we weren’t told was how to do this without being such a push-over that we become punching bags figuratively or literally. We also weren’t told how to keep others from taking us for grated or being taken advantage of or abused. But the reality is this happens…a lot!

Nobody told us to be brave and stand up for what is right & healthy for ourselves.

Why Not?

Isn’t this something desperately important to know? The world isn’t the same as it was when our moms or grandmothers were our age. They didn’t have the tools to give us to still be good, kind, & gentle, but fight when it’s necessary.

Fight For Your Life

There are times we must be direct, strong, and even fight back. It’s up to us to create, fight for, and earn the life that we want while we remain kind and respectful. We must to stand up for ourselves and for also for others who are unable to stand up for themselves.

It may be easy to say. But the reality is a bit tougher. It’s easier to stand tough when we feel strong or whole. But it is ESPECIALLY important to do this when we feel weak… when we feel less than.

It’s in these times that others will take advantage of us because they will sense our weakness.

Be Strong Sisters

It’s time to change the perception of fighting like a girl. We fight the good fight. We fight strong!

Know that you are worthy of being treated with respect. You are worthy of having a home where you feel safe and of choosing good things in all areas of your life. There may be people in your life who ‘have your back’. But nobody is going to be your champion the way that you can because nobody knows what you need as clearly as you do.

However, if you need help, ask for it. Sometimes the enemy is stronger. That doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means you should create an army to back you up. Nobody should ever accept abuse in any form. It starts with the feeling that you are worthy of more. And there are organizations who will help if you just ask. You can even get help through this free crisis text line and it won’t show up on your phone bill. And if you believe you need the kind of support that a professional life coach can provide, contact me. I’d be happy to have a conversation with you to see if working together is the right step for you.

犀利士
text; orphans: 2; float: none; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent;”>So, stand up straight. Look around and claim the life you choose. It’s time to be your own hero; a strong, good and kind hero.

With Strength – W

LESSONS FROM THE FOREST – Seasons of Growth

Aug 31, 2018

Seasons of Growth

I bought a piece of property that sits on a forested ridge in northern California. Because I was in southern California at the time, my kids met with my realtor at the property and we did a video call. I had already seen the pictures and loved the place, but when they walked out onto the deck off the dining room I heard a chorus of frogs singing from the little pond and my heart leapt right inside of my chest. It was magical, and I knew I wanted to call it home. I put in my offer.

Finally, after the negotiations my offer was accepted. I booked my flight and came to see what I was buying in person. What a joy to even drive up the road leading the house. There were trees! Not like the little stunted trees that line the streets where I was coming from but tall beautiful trees. They are well over 100 feet tall and I know some stretch up to 200 feet.

I was like a child in a candy shop on windy days watching these giants sway back and forth. Nobody told me trees dance. They do. It’s an awesome sight to see. But, there were more surprises. Trees grow. You may be thinking; well…yeah! But, again, it was not anything like what I had experienced before. I’ve read that redwoods grow 3 – 10 feet a year. Mine must be healthy. These grow a good 10 feet a year from what I can tell. My view of a valley from my big window is now a view of trees…lots of trees.

They grow. And they keep growing.

It’s Better to Grow

Once again, the forest has reminded me of a basic truth. It is better to grow than live a stunted life. The law of nature shows us that we are meant to grow and expand not remain stunted. It isn’t just vanity to want to be better; it is survival.

When I look back at what my life’s been like, I can see obvious ‘seasons’ of growth. The 犀利士
biggest of these were in 2 categories. One happened because of life changing events; Becoming a mom, loosing my parents, divorce, marriage, and moving to a new location. These were challenging times. The other was because of what I personally made happen; Learning how to have a life I want, learning how to invest in real estate, starting and closing a business, quitting my secure job, and having the opportunity to build the life I want in a new location.

When it Happens

What I’ve noticed about the different categories is that the first was reactionary. I had to do certain things because of these events. The second group were done deliberately and with intention behind them. Anything who has gone through any one of the events I listed know they changed our lives; but not always for the better. The times I made a conscious choice to ‘grow’ in my knowledge, wisdom, or experience had almost entirely positive outcomes. What’s interesting is that even though having to close a business wasn’t ideal, it ended up be positive in the resolution and experience gained by just having gone through the process.

Living with intent is far superior to living a reactionary life. We have more personal power when we do. Why would we live any other way? The only reason I think of is that we don’t know any better. There are also seasons of rest. But, I leave that topic to another time. For now, I give a nod of appreciation to the forest for this life changing reminder: GROW!

With Growth – W